Striving for Superiority: Unraveling the Complexities of Self-Worth and Personal Growth

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I first discovered Adlerian psychology when I read "The Courage of Being Disliked". This book had a profound impact on my life as it helped me shift my perspective and how I saw myself.

In this document, I will attempt to explain Adlerian psychology from my own understanding and practical experience. Please note that I am not a clinical psychologist, so these explanations are purely based on my perspective and how I have applied them in my life over the years.

To begin, let's briefly explore how superiority and inferiority function within the context of Adlerian psychology. In simple terms, we all experience some level of inferiority, which motivates us to strive for superiority in order to feel competent and fulfilled in life.

With this in mind, it is important to recognize that people may have different ways of striving for superiority. Generally, a healthy form of striving involves contributing to better social relationships or working towards the betterment of society.

However, problems arise when either aspect becomes too dominant and hinders the process of healthy striving. For example, someone may feel so inferior that they lack the courage to pursue their goals, leading to an inferiority complex. On the other hand, someone may develop a superiority complex as a way to compensate for their perceived inferiority. Here are some examples to put into context.

Inferiority complexes

One vivid memory I have is from when I started as an intern and felt intimidated by the idea of performing intravenous cannulas. This fear stemmed from a previous failed attempt as a medical student, which left me feeling too inferior to try again.

Looking back, this is a prime example of an inferiority complex. We can all likely recall an experience where a mistake made us feel so inferior that we were unable to gather the courage for further attempts.

Overcoming this complex was not easy. When I finally attempted the procedure again, I failed and felt even more devastated and inferior. However, because it was a required skill in my job, I had no choice but to keep trying until I became comfortable with it.

Even now, I experience similar feelings when faced with new challenges, whether it's in my job, making new friends, adapting to a new work environment, exploring new investment opportunities, or even considering getting a pet. The intimidation can be paralyzing, preventing me from taking action due to my underlying feelings of inferiority.

Through years of reflection, I discovered that my underlying inferiority complex was driven mainly by two factors:

1. The emotional fear that I felt which was disproportionate to the actual risk of the action itself.

2. There was something within me that encouraged me to remain in my comfort zone.

Using the example of inserting a peripheral intravenous cannula as an intern, the fear of failure and the fear of others perceiving me as inadequate played a significant role in my hesitation. Previous experiences had ingrained in me the belief that I could not let others see my imperfections because it would result in disapproval.

By delving deeper into the issue, I began to understand that my inferiority complex was fueled by underlying perfectionism and imposter syndrome, both of which I have reflected on in the past.

Superiority complex

It may seem contradictory to discuss both inferiority and superiority complexes, but it is important to recognize that a superiority complex is a flawed attempt to establish superiority in order to mask underlying feelings of inferiority.

During my time as a junior doctor, I found myself in an unhealthy working environment where blaming and shaming were prevalent. This environment intensified my existing inferiority complex, making it difficult for me to strive and instead leading me to use alcohol as an escape from reality, rather than working on self-improvement.

Looking back, I now realize that I adopted a superiority complex as a way to cope with my inferiority. I played the victim, hoping that life would somehow favor me due to my perceived struggles. Unfortunately, this superiority complex only paralyzed me further and hindered any motivation to improve myself.

After a few weeks of stagnation and no improvement, I finally understood that things would not get better unless I became more proactive. It was then that I recognized my unhealthy coping mechanism and realized that I needed to strive for being a good doctor, rather than the best. This shift in mindset reminded me of the importance of progressing at my own pace and striving for a healthier form of superiority.

What does this all means?

I have discussed superiority and inferiority complexes extensively in this document. While I may not have an in-depth understanding of Adlerian psychology, I have found that understanding these complexes has been vital in resolving conflicts in my life. My underlying imposter syndrome and perfectionism contributed to my inferiority complex, while confusion about my life goals fueled my superiority complex.

I do not claim that this understanding is the answer to all life's questions and challenges. However, it has been immensely helpful to me during my years of practice in a highly competitive and intense working environment. I hope that my insights can provide some value to all of you.

Now, I would love to hear from you. Do you have any personal examples of superiority or inferiority complexes that you have struggled with or are currently facing?

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